Economic abuse is when a partner controls your ability to earn, keep, or use money, and it is one of the most common and least recognized parts of an abusive relationship. In a 2008 study published in Violence Against Women, researchers Adrienne Adams, Cris Sullivan, and colleagues found that 99% of the domestic abuse survivors they surveyed had experienced some form of economic abuse, a figure the National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV) continues to cite. Economic abuse is also one of the main reasons women stay: leaving takes money, credit, and records, and an abusive partner often controls all three. This article is for women who are married, partnered, or living with someone, at any age, who suspect something is wrong with how money works in their relationship and want to understand their options. It is general information, not legal or financial advice, and your physical safety comes before every financial step here.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you are in danger now, call 911. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available at 1-800-799-7233, or by texting START to 88788, and advocates there can help with safety planning, including financial safety planning.

A Safety Note Before Anything Else

An abusive partner may monitor your phone, email, bank app, or mail. Before you look anything up or make any change on this list, consider:

  • Using a device your partner cannot access, such as a library computer, a trusted friend’s phone, or a work computer if that is safe.
  • Using private browsing and clearing history on shared devices.
  • Knowing that some steps, such as a new bank account, new mail, or a change to direct deposit, can be noticed. A domestic violence advocate can help you decide which steps are safe to take now and which should wait.

You do not have to do everything, and you do not have to do it in order.

The Warning Signs

Economic abuse rarely starts dramatically. It often looks like one partner “being good with money” until the other has no access to it. Common patterns include:

  • Controlling access: you are given an allowance, must ask for money for basic needs, or are not allowed to see bank statements, passwords, or account balances.
  • Monitoring and punishing spending: demanding receipts for every purchase, or anger over ordinary expenses.
  • Sabotaging work or school: preventing you from taking a job, calling or showing up at your workplace, causing you to miss shifts, or pressuring you to quit.
  • Taking your income: requiring your paycheck to go into an account only they control.
  • Coerced debt: opening credit cards or loans in your name without permission, pressuring you to sign for debt, or running up joint accounts and leaving you responsible.
  • Hiding assets or information: refusing to share tax returns, having you sign returns without reading them, or keeping accounts you do not know about.
  • Damaging your credit deliberately, so that you cannot rent an apartment, finance a car, or pass a background check on your own.

Any one of these can happen in a relationship that is simply disorganized. A pattern of control, especially alongside fear, isolation, or threats, is different.

Step 1: Find Out What Exists

Knowing what is in your name is the foundation for everything else.

Check your credit reports. Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion now permanently offer free weekly credit reports through AnnualCreditReport.com, the only site authorized for this under federal law, as the Federal Trade Commission explains. Look for accounts you did not open, balances you did not know about, and addresses you do not recognize. Reports are delivered online, not by mail, which can make them safer to check.

Consider a credit freeze. A freeze stops new credit from being opened in your name and is free at all three bureaus under federal law. You can temporarily lift it when you need to apply for credit yourself. Keep the PINs or login details somewhere your partner cannot find them.

Check your Social Security earnings record through a my Social Security account. Missing years of earnings can signal unreported income or work you were kept from.

Request your tax records. If you filed joint returns, you are entitled to see them. The IRS lets you pull transcripts of past returns through your own IRS online account.

Step 2: Document Quietly

Documentation protects you in a divorce, a protective-order hearing, or a dispute with a creditor. Keep copies somewhere your partner cannot reach: with a trusted friend or family member, at work, or in a cloud account with a new login.

Useful records include:

  • Recent bank, credit card, and retirement account statements, or photos of them
  • Tax returns for the past several years
  • Pay stubs, both yours and your partner’s if accessible
  • Mortgage, lease, car title, and loan documents
  • Copies of your ID, passport, Social Security card, and your children’s birth certificates
  • Notes of specific incidents, with dates: debts opened without your consent, threats, missed work

Step 3: Build a Small Base in Your Own Name

Even a little money and credit of your own makes leaving, whenever you decide to, more possible.

  • A separate account at a different bank from the one you share, with statements set to electronic delivery at an email address only you use. Some women start with a small amount set aside from cash back or gifts.
  • Your own credit history. If all accounts are in your partner’s name, a secured credit card in your name, used lightly and paid in full, can start building a credit file.
  • Emergency cash kept somewhere safe, plus a list of essential account numbers and phone numbers.

If adding a new account would be noticed and put you at risk, skip this for now. An advocate can help you find other ways to prepare.

Step 4: Know the Protections for Debt You Did Not Choose

Debt opened in your name without your consent may be disputable. Under the Fair Credit Reporting Act, you can dispute inaccurate information with each credit bureau and with the lender. If an account was opened entirely without your knowledge, it may qualify as identity theft, which triggers stronger removal rights. In December 2024, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau began a rulemaking process that would treat coerced debt more like identity theft under credit-reporting rules; as of this writing, no final rule is in place, so current protections depend on the facts of each account.

If you signed joint tax returns that understated income without your knowledge, the IRS offers innocent spouse relief, requested on Form 8857, and it considers a history of abuse when evaluating requests.

Legal aid organizations and domestic violence programs often have attorneys or advocates who handle coerced debt, and many services are free.

Moving at Your Own Pace

Protecting your finances is not a commitment to leave on any particular timeline. It gives you options. A practical starting point for many women is the smallest safe step: one credit report pulled from a safe device, or one folder of copies left with someone trusted. When you are ready for more, a domestic violence advocate can help you build a financial safety plan that fits your situation, and a family-law attorney can explain how your state divides marital property and debt.